Addictive technology is thriving, and it's essential for neutrals and lawyers to understand the impact it's having on clients, jurors, witnesses, relationships and even our own children. The problem is now worse than drug addiction in terms of hours of life wasted. In the specific case of divorce and dating, dating apps have made people disposable, leaving the impression that there is always another choice available. However, the problem goes far beyond dating apps.
As of 2024, there are over 6.8 billion smartphone users in the world and within that population, 6.3% have a phone addiction. Research published by Virgin Mobile discovered that those billions of smartphone users receive 427% more messages and notifications than they did a decade ago. They also send 278% more texts. The rise in phone use seems like a natural necessity for modern life, however, it can also cause concern and negative consequences. The heavy use of these devices has consumers questioning their cellular habits.
Behavioral addiction is a powerful attraction to experiences that offer rewards, even though they are harmful and hard to resist. According to Adam Alder's book entitled “Irresistible”,[1] from 2000 to 2013, the average attention span dropped from 12 seconds to 8 seconds. In 2008, a typical phone addict spent about 18 minutes per day on an iPhone. By 2015, that number had risen to two hours and 45 minutes, with 280 million people addicted to smartphones. "Human attention is dwindling," according to Northeastern University, over the past 20 years, the average attention span has dropped from around 2½ minutes to approximately 45 seconds.
How big is the problem of behavioral addiction to technology?
- 57% of Americans say they are addicted to their phones.[2]
- One In Three Americans Can’t Eat A Meal Without Being On Their Phone [3]
- According to a study by Nutrisystem, out of 200 people surveyed, 29% said they are on their phones during meals.
- Americans check their phone an average of 144 times a day.
- 88.60% of Americans said they checked their phones within the first 10 minutes of waking up.
- An average person globally checks their phone 58 times a day.
- 53% of Americans claim they have never gone without their phone for over 24 hours.
- Nomophobia, which is the fear of being without a mobile phone or not having network coverage. According to a study in ScienceDirect, 80% of participants across all age groups exhibit moderate and severe nomophobia, with the percentages being 90% for 18-21, 90% for 22-25, 91% for 26-29, and 91% for 30 and above. [4]
- In the United States, 64% of adults own a smartphone and 73% of them feel panicked when they misplace their phone. (Pew Research Center, 2017)
- A study by BankMyCell found that the average time spent on smartphones per day has increased from 3 hours and 10 minutes in 2019 to over 4 hours in 2021. Assuming the average person sleeps 8 hours a day, 4 hours represents 25% of a person’s awake life.
- According to a survey by Common Sense Media, the percentage of teenagers who feel addicted to their phones has increased from 39% in 2015 to 50% in 2021.
- A recent report by Psychology Today revealed that 20% of parents admit to spending more time on their phones than interacting with their children. It is very difficult to teach children (especially very young children) empathy if you are not looking them in the face during conversations.
- According to a recent survey conducted by the Pew Research Center:
- 25% of adults who feel they are "almost constantly" using their phone reported feeling nervous or anxious.
- 20% reported feeling lonely or isolated.
- 18% reported feeling overwhelmed.
- 17% reported feeling depressed or unhappy with their lives.
What are other forms of technology addiction?
A recent review of the phenomenon of binge-watching TV in Applied Psychology, characterized it as an addictive and problematic behavior. The study concluded that it has negative outcomes for individuals such as compromised executive functioning as well as cognitive deficits.[5]
Adam Alter points out that, while binge-watching isn’t inherently harmful for everyone, it can become problematic when people lose control over how much they watch, neglect other activities, or experience negative consequences such as sleep deprivation, social isolation, or stress. The addictive qualities of binge-watching are rooted in how it hooks people into watching "just one more episode," making it difficult to stop.
In terms of social media, Facebook, Instagram, and X(formally Twitter) are designed to exploit our natural desire for social validation and feedback. Social media taps into a fundamental human need for connection and approval, making it highly addictive. One of the key reasons we crave social media is due to its variable reward system, similar to how slot machines work. Every time we post, comment, or engage, there's uncertainty about how much feedback we will receive (likes, comments, shares), which makes it exciting. The unpredictability of these rewards triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, reinforcing the behavior and creating a cycle of checking and re-checking our feeds for new notifications.
Finally, is the addiction to online gaming, which shares many characteristics with other behavioral addictions, such as social media and binge-watching. In Irresistible, Adam Alder discusses how online games are meticulously designed to keep players engaged for long periods through reward systems, social interactions, and immersive environments. Online gaming can be a healthy and enjoyable activity for many, but for some people, it can turn into a compulsive habit. This addiction can lead to negative consequences, such as neglecting real-life responsibilities, social isolation, and even physical health problems because of long hours of play.
So how does this affect relationships?
Erosion of Emotional Intimacy
Behavioral addiction, whether it’s to social media, gaming, or other technology, can pull individuals into digital environments at the expense of real-world interactions. People addicted to their devices may be physically present but emotionally absent, leading their partners, friends, or family members to feel ignored or undervalued. Emotional intimacy requires attention, shared experiences, and active listening, all of which diminish when one partner is consistently engaged in technology. Unfortunately, relationships thrive on emotional exchanges. When attention is divided between a partner and a device, the depth of emotional connection is compromised. Over time, this can weaken the bond and lead to frustration, resentment, or even a breakdown in trust.
Decrease in Quality Time
Time is a critical currency in relationships. When addiction consumes hours of the day, there’s less time for shared activities, mutual support, or simply being together. The loss of this shared time can leave others feeling neglected or sidelined.
Impaired Communication
Frequent use of devices can lead to shallow or fragmented conversations, where one or both parties are distracted by notifications or checking their devices mid-conversation. Over time, this can deteriorate the quality of communication, leading to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and an inability to fully engage in meaningful dialogue. Communication by text messaging restricts the ability to express intonation or emotion without regressing to hieroglyphics. While the quantity of personal communication has increased, the quality has decreased.
Increased Conflict and Resentment
As one person becomes more absorbed in addictive behavior, it can create a power imbalance in the relationship. The non-addicted partner may begin to resent the amount of time and energy their loved one spends on the behavior. This resentment can lead to frequent conflicts, as the non-addicted individual may feel unheard or underappreciated, while the addicted person may feel defensive or misunderstood.
How does this Impact Online Dispute Resolution?
Basically, behavioral addiction to technology can undermine the cognitive and emotional capacities necessary for effective dispute resolution, leading to reduced focus, poor decision-making, and difficulty in fostering cooperative solutions.
Shortened Attention Span and Cognitive Overload
Technology addiction, especially to social media, online gaming, and entertainment platforms, has been shown to reduce people's attention spans and make it difficult to focus on tasks for extended periods. In the context of ODR and online meetings, this can result in participants being easily distracted, not fully engaging with the discussion, and missing critical details. When participants are multitasking or zoning out, the productivity and quality of the session suffer.
Superficial Participation and Shallow Processing
Online social media platforms are designed for quick interactions—likes, comments, and short bursts of information. This can condition participants to engage with complex issues in a superficial way. In ODR or online meetings, where careful analysis and thoughtful input are needed, participants may fall back on these shallow engagement patterns, offering quick, surface-level contributions instead of deep, well-considered perspectives. Technology addiction may hinder the ability to engage in thoughtful, substantive discussions, leading to shallow decision-making and ineffective resolutions.
Escapism and avoidance of difficult issues
Technology addiction can encourage avoidance behaviors, particularly in difficult conversations, leading to prolonged disputes and inefficiency in problem-solving. Online platforms enable quick access to distractions—like social media or other forms of entertainment—making it easier for participants to disengage when faced with challenging topics. In ODR, this avoidance can stall progress and leave disputes unresolved or only partially addressed.
Digital Identity and Self-Presentation
Technology, especially through social media, has transformed how people construct and present their identities. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok allow users to curate their digital personas, often presenting idealized versions of themselves. This creates a divergence between the authentic self and the digital self, blurring the lines between online and offline identities. Research suggests that people may experience self-discrepancy when their online persona becomes too detached from their true self, leading to potential psychological stress [6]. In ODR, trust is crucial. However, as people increasingly curate their digital personas and control how they are perceived online, there may be a gap between how parties present themselves and their true intentions or behaviors. In online settings, however, participants rely on text-based or video communication, which can be manipulated or curated more easily. This can complicate the resolution process, as the mediator or arbitrator may not be able to fully assess the credibility or emotional state of the disputants. Furthermore, identity fragmentation—the ability to present different personas across platforms—can lead to confusion or misrepresentation in ODR cases. If a party's online identity differs significantly from how they behave in offline settings, it could lead to misunderstandings or complications in reaching a fair resolution. This is why tools like NextLevel Mediation can be of great help to mediators and arbitrators.
Shift in Power Dynamics
Digital identity can also shift the power dynamics in ODR. A party with a stronger online presence or higher digital literacy may wield more influence in the dispute resolution process. For instance, a party with a well-maintained social media presence might be more adept at swaying public opinion, putting pressure on the other party to settle so they might not have to in an offline setting. This introduces challenges in ensuring fairness, as the party with better digital tools or reputation management skills may have an advantage that doesn't reflect the merits of the dispute.
Conclusions
Behavioral addiction has far-reaching consequences on relationships, primarily because it pulls individuals away from the real-world connections that relationships require to thrive. The distractions and compulsive behaviors associated with addiction rob relationships of time, attention, and emotional presence. To protect relationships from the corrosive effects of addictive technology, it is critical to foster open communication, set boundaries around technology use, and prioritize meaningful, in-person interactions. In this way, relationships can maintain the emotional connection, intimacy, and trust that are essential for their longevity.
In the context of ODR, technology addiction presents a range of risks that can severely hinder the productivity and success of ODR sessions and work meetings. From diminished attention spans and shallow engagement to avoidance of difficult issues and reduced empathy, these risks not only affect the quality of outcomes but can also cause lasting frustration and inefficiency. To combat these risks, facilitators / neutrals need better tools like NextLevel Mediation which can quickly get to the essence of a dispute and provide more productive engagement for the clients as well as foster deeper interaction.